Different people behave in different ways in relationships. Some are healthy, some are abusive, and many are somewhere in the middle. It is important that we know what can potentially be abusive to stand up for our rights. Healthy relationships are based on equality and respect. People with healthy sexual behaviors are more likely to be loving, respectful and caring in their intimate relationship. Healthy sexual behaviors are usually safe, helpful, age-appropriate, respectful and positive (SHARP).
When we are young, some behaviours are mutually flirtatious and playful. An example of this is when you ask someone to watch a movie or hang out together.
However, not all sexual behaviours are healthy. Some could be problematic and harmful at times. Some behaviours are age-inappropriate and/or non-mutual. For example, this is when an adult asks you to do something that you are not comfortable, like changing clothes in front of him/her.
When we are young, some behaviours are mutually flirtatious and playful. An example of this is when you ask someone to watch a movie or hang out together.
However, not all sexual behaviours are healthy. Some could be problematic and harmful at times. Some behaviours are age-inappropriate and/or non-mutual. For example, this is when an adult asks you to do something that you are not comfortable, like changing clothes in front of him/her.
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Harassment can involve comments, gestures and actions that is intended to hurt, offend or intimidate another person. Sexual harassment is regard as an unwelcome sexual advances and/or inappropriate requests for sexual behaviors. Sexual harassment focuses on a person’s appearance, body parts, sexual orientation or sexual activity. Sexual harassment can be in verbal or physical form, and it is against the law. Sexual harassment behaviors include sexual name calling, persistent pressure to date or to have sex, making sexual comments about somebody, among others. It does not just happen to girls. Some bullies use technology to harass someone sexually (sending inappropriate social media messages, pictures or videos).
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When the behavior in the relationship pressures or coerces someone to do something sexually that he/she does not want to do, it becomes sexually abusive and violent. Abusive relationships are based on power and control. Sexual abuse is undesirable sexual activity, where offenders threaten, use force or act on victims without their consent.
Some people assume if the other person does not resist, it is not considered as sexual abuse. This is NOT true. Just because the victim did not say “no” does not mean she/he consented. Consent is extremely important in any relationship.
What is consent? Consent means giving and receiving “yes” from both parties involved. If you do not hear “no”, that is not the same thing as hearing “yes”. Make sure you are both on the same page and get consent every time!
Remember that:
1. Consent is based on free choice.
2. Consent is active, not passive.
3. Consent is a process.
4. Consent is only possible if there is equal power.
Some people assume if the other person does not resist, it is not considered as sexual abuse. This is NOT true. Just because the victim did not say “no” does not mean she/he consented. Consent is extremely important in any relationship.
What is consent? Consent means giving and receiving “yes” from both parties involved. If you do not hear “no”, that is not the same thing as hearing “yes”. Make sure you are both on the same page and get consent every time!
Remember that:
1. Consent is based on free choice.
2. Consent is active, not passive.
3. Consent is a process.
4. Consent is only possible if there is equal power.
