Effective communication involves being able to express oneself, understanding others, both verbally and non-verbally, in culturally-appropriate and contextually-relevant manner. Effective communication skills often lead to meaningful and healthy relationships.

Examples of good communication skills:
  • Listen attentively to people, build good rapport with others.
  • Be empathic, able to see things from other person’s perspective.
  • Use appropriate body language and facial expression to communicate.​​
How people communicate can be characterized by their communication styles which can be considered:
  1. Passive: People with this style say “Yes” when they don’t really mean it, and don’t ask for what they want. They try to act so that they will be liked, and be nice so as to not hurt the other person’s feelings. Do you know any examples of this?
Example: Your partner and you are kissing on a couch; the other person starts to unbutton your pants. You don’t want to be that intimate. But you do not say anything because you want to be liked. You end up feeling used.
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  • Aggressive: People with this style try to get their way by putting the others down or violating their rights. They respond out of anger or fear without caring how it affects the other person.
EXAMPLE: YOUR PARTNER CALLS YOU NAMES AND INSULTS YOU. THIS HURTS YOUR FEELINGS ESPECIALLY WHEN HE/SHE STARTS TO MAKE FUN OF YOU AND PUTS YOU DOWN. IN RESPONSE, YOU SHOUT IN HIS/HER FACE “GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID FOOL!” YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT, BUT YOU MAY END UP LOSING AND DAMAGING THE RELATIONSHIP.
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  • Assertive: Assertive individuals possess the skills to stand up for one’s own and other people’s rights in a calm and respectful way. People with this style give a firm “No” to things they don’t want. Assertive people ask for what they want without putting others down. Being assertive may help you have a conversation rather than fight or hide. 
EXAMPLE: YOUR PARTNER STARTS TO KISS YOU. YOU SAY, “STOP, I LIKE YOU, BUT I DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT INTIMATE.” THIS MAY ALLOW BOTH OF YOU TO TALK ABOUT YOUR COMPROMISES. YOU KEEP YOUR SELF-RESPECT AND YOU HAVEN’T HURT THE OTHER PERSON. 
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