Have you been in a relationship with someone special? Dating may mean different things to different people. Dating usually refers to two people in a romantic or intimate relationship. You may feel a special connection emotionally to the person and think that you are “in love”.​

​Romantic relationships may not have to be sexual, but sometimes, it involves sexual activity.
Are you and your partner dating? It is good that you and your partner have the same understanding. These questions may be helpful:
  • Do you have romantic feelings for this person?
  • Are you and the person you’re interested in both looking for a committed relationship?
  • Do you hang out or go on dates without a group of friends?
  • Is the status of your relationship something you’ve shared with others in person or online, like on Facebook?
  • Do both people in the relationship agree that it’s exclusive?

​When can you start dating?
There is no set age, but your parent’s may set rules based on your culture, religion and beliefs. Maybe you can talk to your parent’s to hear their views. They may be concerned because some relationships may be complicated, unhealthy and unsafe. It is important to make informed decisions about your relationships.
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In the end, you should feel that you are confident to make the decision to be in a safe relationship. Everyone gets angry at times, but there are always choices other than violence. You can talk things through with your partner. Being irresponsible and hurting the other person just because you are stronger is unhealthy and NOT OK.

Relationships can be healthy, unhealthy or abusive 
Healthy relationships have love and mutual respect. Open communication is a good trait to have so that both you and your partner can understand each other better. You will not find abusive behaviours in healthy relationships.
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Healthy relationships make us feel good about ourselves. They are based on respect, good communication. Healthy relationships are consensual and there is no exploitation.  ​
​Unhealthy relationships can make us feel unsafe. Many people feel like they are in a hurtful, violent or hateful relationship at some point. If you are in that situation, know that you are not alone, and you do deserve better. Unhealthy relationships are warning signs that a relationship can become worse over time. Do not ignore these signs. You can do something to improve it. ​
Healthy Relationship
Unhealthy Relationship
Have mutual respect for each other.
Feeling of being disrespected.
Establishment of trust.
Being selfish.
Being honest.
Feeling forceful to spend time with each other.
Having an effective communication.
One sided communication.
Equal amount of give and take.
Physical harm (i.e. physical abuse)
Feeling safe and comfortable with one another.
Feeling angry or upset when involving the other.
Able to help and advise one another effectively.
One feels conscious and afraid to be themselves with the other.
Positive influence.
Causes negative influence to the other.
Enjoys the company of one another and looks forward to the next meeting.
Unfairness.
Abusive relationships are not just physical. They may also be emotional, verbal,  sexual or also financial. Abusive relationships are most times not obvious to an external party. If you know someone who may be in this situation, be a supportive friend, and find out how you can help them.

Escaping Abuse
Anyone can be a victim of abuse. There us NO typical victims. Victims of abusive relationship do not bring violence upon themselves. Violence in relationships happens when one person feels entitled to power and control over their partner and chooses to abuse to gain and maintain that control. If you are in such a situation, remember you are not alone. 
  • Realize this behaviour is wrong.
  • Talk to an adult, friend or family member that you trust.
  • Create a safety plan.
  • Do not accept or make excuses for your partner’s abusive behaviour.
  • Remember that physical abuse is never your fault.

Quiz

The world is a wonderful place, but there are also times where you can be in an unsafe situations. Young people begin exploring the world outside the traditional safety of the home.
 
For example, going to the cinema with friends, hanging out at the cyber café and mixing more freely with boys and girls from outside your family. Even in school, you may stay in a hostel, or stay longer for activities after school.
 
With knowledge, you can equip yourself with skills to be safe and protect yourself.
  • Always let an adult know where you will be. If not, send a message to a trusted friend.
  • Manage your cyber content and photos well. Do not post too much personal information.
  • Know that you have a right to your personal space and that each individual are to be respected.
  • Understand that any form of violence is unacceptable.
  • If you are unsure of your situation at any time, you have a right to leave and say “NO”.
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Dating

Dating is when a couple is attracted to each other and spend time to get to know each other. It can be a positive experience if there is mutual respect to each other’s space, body, emotional integrity and decision making. Many cultures, including perhaps where your family comes from do not encourage dating during your teenager years as they fear that you will be hurt or will lose focus on your studies.
 
In every situation, be it at a party or if you are alone with your special one, take time to assess all options to ensure a safer outcome.
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